Well, it’s more than attitude, it’s thoughts that turn to beliefs. Over the years I’ve helped numerous clients lose as much as 90 pounds. As I worked with them it made sense to start by changing their negative self-talk. After all, the subconscious mind has only one response to our thoughts and beliefs: Yes. When weight clients come for their second session some report that by changing their self-talk they are eating less and even releasing a few pounds.
However, I tell clients that the body takes time to respond and to give themselves time to peel off the layers of self-hate and negativity before expecting any physical change.
The following list is from an international client who sent me this very helpful list of her self-talk. Clearly she has issues with self-esteem and self-worth that need to addressed but first, some direct suggestions are in order followed by age regression and/or parts therapy.
Sadly, this client’s self worth was so damaged that she wasn’t able to allow herself to receive help. This was her one and only session. However, we can learn from her story as it gives us insights about the inner demons operating in our weight clients.
Food is my lover and friend, as I really don’t have any friends.
I am learning to be my own best friend.
If a thought about any food comes to my mind I won’t back down or let go.
Thoughts about food float easily through my mind, dissolving as they go.
I’ve always been overweight as a child and grew up with a feeling of embarrassment, self loathing.
Age regression opportunity.
Everything about my demeanor reflects shame of my self. I’m big, fat, slow, and ugly.
I am becoming small, slender, quick and attractive.
I don’t feel a compelling reason to look my best or buy clothes, as anything will do and it doesn’t matter because fat people are expected to wear unflattering items, they have a good reason!
As I release this excess weight I enjoy buying and wearing attractive clothes.
The feeling of self loathing, and shame grew up with me to fearing people. I cannot walk into a room full of people and mingle with them, I may go into an anxiety attack if forced to.
As I become friends with myself, I can now feel comfortable around others.
Age regression/parts therapy.
The only time I feel safe is with my food, it doesn’t judge or criticize me.
I love and approve of myself.
In a conversation, the person looking at me makes me feel like it’s something of a grand gesture on his/her part, as the natural response is to veer their direction away from me.
Age regression/parts therapy.
So when talking back and forth about an issue I usually give up discussion by agreeing as not to upset anyone.
My thoughts and ideas have value.
I feel stupid and slow, anything comes out of my mouth is meaningless, unfortunately my position at work reflects that, although I have good qualifications.
Because I have good qualifications I am now making meaningful contributions at work.
Finally when I hear group of friends standing around, whether it people from work or just anywhere, jealousy and sadness fill me, as I crave that attention.
Age regression/parts therapy.
I now give myself the loving attention I deserve.
Yet when I’m speaking with someone, I can’t wait for them to leave, thinking I’m so boring and stupid, so they better leave before I re-affirm the notion even more.
I am intelligent and interesting.
I know there’s a person inside me that is funny and sociable but I lost it under my thick layers of fat.
I am now expressing my funny and sociable self more and more.
I have noted a few ways to begin, e.g. self-talk and regression or parts therapy for future sessions. I would also use some NLP techniques such as submodalities to change her past experiences. In session I would discuss any new suggestions with my client to ensure that s/he is comfortable with them.
If any of this resonates with you, find a well-trained hypnotherapist in your area.
©Katherine Zimmerman 2019