Valentine’s Day is right around the corner bringing love into our awareness. Of course, when we think about Valentine’s Day we think about romantic love. We long for someone to share our lives. But wait, what about the Self that we would bring into that relationship?
Are we whole and complete on our own? 
Have we learned to be our own best friend?
Do we ‘want” a relationship or do we “need” a relationship?
I’ve spent over 25 years listening to clients lament that they just wanted mom or dad to love and accept them. Why not give ourselves that love and acceptance now? Then, when the romantic relationship shows up, it’s healthy and strong.
Here’s a simple exercise to help you to build self love.
First, make yourself comfortable. Now, take a few deep breaths and allow your body to relax. Now, think of a person, place or thing that you absolutely know you love. Imagine it in your mind and feel it in your body. What’s it like? Where do you feel it in your body? What are the sensations? Is it warm? Does it have a shape or a color? Just notice how this love feels.
When you have a clear feeling of this love for this other person, place or thing, shift that flow of love to yourself. Imagine love flowing towards that person, circle the love around them and bring it back to you. Bring that love into your mind, body and emotions. Breathe into that love. If you lose the feeling, start again. That’s it. Imagine again sending to that person, place or thing and then bring that flow back to you. Feel it all over your body. relax your mind and let that love flow in. If you feel resistance to self love, send love to that feeling as well. If you experience, negative thoughts send them love.
Notice how you react to this exercise, take a few deep breaths and, when you’re ready, open your eyes. Write down your reactions in a journal. Practice this exercise daily for three weeks and see what unfolds.
And the day came
when the risk to remain
tight in a bud
was more painful
than the risk it took
to blossom.
Anaïs Nin
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